To err is human, to be Divine is Hubris
I know I keep bringing up The INCIDENT, but it is currently the major stressor and spiritual blocker in my life currently. And yet it has also brought some embers to life and added some water into my empty pot of spiritual energy.
You hear the phrase “to err is human, to forgive is Divine” over and over again. I have been mulling this over and over in reference to my current situation (along with Jedi philosophy), and I have decided that phrase is pretty close to the definition of hubris. I mean at the end of it all you are proclaiming to be on the same level as the Gods themselves. And the act of forgiving someone does not a Divinity make.
How much of forgiveness is truly ultruistic? When we are children we say we forgive people because an adult demands we do so. All that is is getting the adult off your back so you can get back to playing. As an adult we tend to be forgiving because it is the socially acceptable thing to do. And the “forgive and forget” is bullshit too. You will always remember, it’s what you do with the memory that makes a difference.
So here we are, outwardly proclaiming equality with the Gods but still acting like the lesser beings we areon the inside. Why is it not OK to simply admit our human failings? Why has that become the standard? I know I can’t live up to the impossible. I shall continue to make mistakes as I stumble through this thing called life. I will anger people, and be angry at others. I will think dark thoughts and in moments of human weakness say them. We should not hold ourselves or others to impossible standards where they are doomed to fail.
Also, does “I forgive you, so I guess that means I’m better than you” count as real forgiveness anyway? I’m going no.
Another Bend In the road 
I moved to a new blog, erased the old one, and stopped talking about sensitive topics for a while because some of Mom’s family got hold of my old blog and used it as an excuse to harass her and leave her with significantly less than her fair share of the land during the division of the farm. They were hateful, spiteful, petty, ignorant and ugly. It is probable that while I may eventually move past the layers and layers of new hurt (after a lifetime of sideways abuse and backhanded compliments that are really brutal judgements) I will never forget that it happened or extend any measure of trust or familial feeling toward them again. I think that this is not only normal, but healthy. They have proven themselves to be a toxic presence. Why would I subject myself to that? Why would you subject yourself to a toxic situation? Moving past something does not require you to re-extend trust, it simply means you cease dwelling on the reasons why you no longer extend trust.
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Thank you. I have actually been trying to find the exact words to explain better to The Fiancé how I feel. I think this says it perfectly.
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